YUGIOH! COMMERCIALS
by sparkyfma2000
Summary: Round 4 on the commercials by the cast of YU-GI-OH! I still haven't stopped!
1. 1

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THINGS I DO NOT OWN: MasterCard~I hate plastic! Cash only please! Klondike Bar~but I'd love one! YU-GI-OH!~oh how I wish I did!  
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YU-GI-OH! COMMERCIALS  
  
~MasterCard Commercial~  
  
*rope-$5.00  
  
*chair-$15.00  
  
*gag-$2.00  
  
*cement-$22.00  
  
*being able to kill Anzu slowly-priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy. For every thing else, there's MasterCard. Accepted where Anzu bashing equipment are sold  
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~Klondike Bar Commercial~  
  
take one  
  
Mr. Announcer: *walks up to Anzu.* Excuse me, miss.  
  
Anzu: Yes?  
  
Mr. Announcer: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?  
  
Anzu: Ummmmmmmm  
  
Mr. Announcer: Would you give up your Friendship Speeches?  
  
Anzu: *gasps* Of course not! Friendship is very......*goes into friendship speech*  
  
Mr. Announcer: *runs away screaming* AH! The horrors!  
  
Director: CUT!!!!!  
  
take two  
  
Mr. Announcer: We have here Mai Valentine. Extrodinary duelist and a beautiful woman.  
  
Mai: *blushes* Please, don't flatter me......okay! You can! *looks self in her compact mirror*  
  
Mr. Announcer: Mai, what would you do for a Klondike Bar?  
  
Mai: Oh, I don't eat those things. They make you break out.  
  
Mr. Announcer: *pretends not to hear her.* Would you not wear make-up for a day?  
  
Mai: *death glare.* Don't you EVER suggest that! I would just look horrid with out it!  
  
*Rex Raptor- pops in*  
  
Rex: And what would be the difference from what you look like now?  
  
Mai: *warrior yell* I will kill you Rex Raptor! *chases after him*  
  
Director: Not again! CUT!!!  
  
take three  
  
Mr. Announcer: Why do I have to do these? No one will eat these things!!!  
  
*lightening strikes Mr. Announcer.*  
  
Director: Because I said so!  
  
Mr. Announcer: *coughs*....okay........*walks up to Bakura who is in the middle of a duel with Yami.* Excuse me, sir  
  
Bakura: Not now! Can't you see I'm in a very important duel!  
  
Mr. Announcer: *comes up directly behind Bakura.* Sir, what would you do for a Klondike Bar?  
  
Bakura: *turns around and gives Mr. Announcer the death glare.* I don't care about your stupid Clone dike Bar!   
  
Mr. Announcer: It's Klondike Bar. Not Clone dike Bar! And would you loose this duel for one?  
  
Bakura: You innsolent moron! Didn't you hear what I just said? I don't care about your stupid Clone dike Bar! I must defeat the baka na pharaoh!  
  
Yami: *impatiently waiting on the other side of the dueling arena, decides to move.* I now combine Gia The Fierce Knight and Curse of Dragon to create Gia The Dragon Champion! Gia! Go! Destroy his monster and depleat his lifepoints!   
  
*Gia charges Bakura's monster, Dokuroyaiba and brings his life points down to zero.*  
  
Yami: *smirks* I win again Tomb Robber  
  
Mr. Announcer: FINALLY! Someone does something for these things! *hands Bakura a Klondike Bar.*  
  
Bakura: NOOOOOOOOOOO! *turns to Mr. Announcer.* You will pay! *sends Mr. Announcer to the Shadow Realm.*  
  
Director: *sighs* I seem to loose more victims.......erm.....I mean announcers that way!  
  
Bakura: *picks up Klondike Bar that Mr. Announcer had dropped. Unwraps it and eats it.* Oh YOWIE! This is good! Ohhh! *points to Yami.* Mr. Ferrny-poo! *mad giggle, prances around the arena, singing I LIKE CANDY!*   
  
Director: *shudders.* sugar-hyper Bakura. That's scary! Okay! Cut!  
  
Bakura: Cut? *grabs scissors and runs after Yami.* Oh Pharaoh! Time for a hair cut!*  
  
Yami: *look of sheer horror, runs in the opposite direction.* YUGI! SAVE ME!!!!!!  
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~INFOMERCIAL~  
  
Announcer: Do the bullies at school like to pick on you? Do you have a hard time making friends? Then you need YAMI! Yami will teach the school bullies to respect and fear you and will force others to like you or threaten them to send them to the Shadow Realm. Order NOW! Dial 1-888-227-YAMI. Operators are standing by! Order now and recieve with your order a free Millenium Item!   
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~commercials end, YU-GI-OH! comes back on.~  
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Kanatasha: Okay, probally not the funniest, but hey, it was 4:00 in the morning when I wrote this stupid thing! Couldn't sleep so decided to write a humor fic.  
  
Kayko: What's funny about this?  
  
Katrena: Well Bakura chasing Yami with scissors!  
  
Kayko: *pouts* But I wanted to do that!  
  
Katrena: There, there sis, it's alright. You'll get your chance. We both will get our chance to kill Yami!  
  
Kanatasha: NO YOU WILL NOT! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU TO LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *eyes glow an angry red*  
  
Kayko: Uh-oh!  
  
Kayko/Katrena: *runs away* Mad lady! Mad lady! Run for the hills!  
  
Kanatasha: *turns to normal, smiles sweetly to the readers.* Please review. You don't want to upset me now do you? *evil glare* 


	2. 2

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I DO NOT OWN, NOR WILL I EVER OWN: MCDONALDS (burn it), BARNEY (burn him too!), MASTERCARD (again no plastic), GEIKO(ah, I need a car first), OR GOLDFISH (the cracker not the fish!)  
  
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YU-GI-OH! Commercials Part Two  
  
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~McDonald's Commercial~  
  
Ronald McDonald happily skips through the streets of Domino City. Smiling and nodding a hello to everyone he meets, humming the McDonald's theme song. Soon comes across Marik, slumped in the shadows looking very pissed. Curious, Ronald walks over to him.  
  
Ronald: What's the matter?  
  
Marik: Buzz off!  
  
Still grinning like an idiot, Ronald puts his arms around Marik shoulder.   
  
Ronald: Now now. That's no way to behave. Hey! I've got an idea to cheer you up!   
  
Marik: *glares over at him*  
  
Ronald spins around faster and faster magically transforming himself into a painter, begins to paint a happy face.  
  
Ronald: *sings* Put a smile on! Put a smile on! Everybody come on! Put a smile on!  
  
Marik: *screams, while holding his hands over his ears* STOP IT!  
  
Ronald: *perlexed look* I guess that didn't work. *lightbulb pops above his head* Ah-ha!  
  
Marik: *looks up at the lightbulb puzzled* Now how in the hell did he do that?  
  
Ronald spins again transforming himself into Barney McDonald *shudders*  
  
Barney McDonald: *annoying laugh* Hey der kiddie. You know what you need? *annoying laugh* A hug. That always brings a smile on my face. And then I'll treat you to a happy meal at McDonalds! What do you say?  
  
Marik: You touch me and your dead!  
  
Barney McDonald: Oh, is that any way to behave?   
  
Marik: Stay away freak! *slowly starts to back away*  
  
Barney McDonald: *approaches him* Give us a hug! *sings* I love you. You love me. We're a happy fam...  
  
Marik: *screams bloody murder, leaps up and starts to stab and slice at Barney McDonald with the Millenium Rod.*  
  
Barney McDonald: *continues to sing, smiling.*  
  
Marik: AH! Why won't you die! DIE! DIE! DIE! *laughs like a maniac as the blood squirts up into his face.  
  
Barney McDonald: See. You can smile! Now for a happy meal at McDonalds!   
  
Barney McDonald spins around returning back into Ronald McDonald.  
  
Ronald: Lets go friend! *takes a few steps before he falls apart in pieces, dead.*  
  
Marik: *smiles, walks off humming the McDonald theme song in a tormented tone*  
  
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~MasterCard Commercial~  
  
Shampoo/Conditioner: $10.00  
  
Professional haircut: $15.00  
  
Professional perm: $40.00  
  
Hiring Bakura to do Yami's hair instead of a professional: Priceless  
  
There are some things money can't buy. For everything else there's MasterCard. Accepted everywhere.  
  
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~Geiko Car Insurance Commercial~  
  
*Beautiful peaceful afternoon. The birds are chirping. A cool breeze blows through a almost deserted highway. Joey stands near the edge of the roadway looking right and left for oncoming traffic. Seeing no one, steps out into the road. Just as he is halfway across, a limozine comes screeching around the corner.   
  
Joey: *yelps, falls backwards*  
  
*Driver of the limo lays down on the horn while turning the wheels of the vehicle sharply in the opposite direction of the blonde hair boy. Limo crashes into a tree, smoke billows out of the hood.*  
  
*Scene cuts to Bakura who casually crosses the street over to Joey*  
  
Bakura: Nice work Wheeler! Hope that stupid mortal knows about Geiko!  
  
Limo driver: Sir, are you alright?  
  
Kaiba: *grumbles angrily* Stupid mutt! Get Geiko on the line NOW!  
  
Announcer: 15 minutes can save you 15% or more on your car insurance! That is as long as you call before an accident  
  
Joey: *snickers*   
  
Kaiba: *grumbles* Stupid mutt!  
  
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~Goldfish Commercial~  
  
*Entire cast of YU-GI-OH! on a merry-go round, glaring at each other as the merry-go round spins going faster and faster.*  
  
Bakura: Why must I be here? I should be out claiming the Millinium Items for my own!  
  
Marik: *eyes Yami* Soon the pharoah's power will be mine!  
  
Tristen: *to annonymous girl* Hey there! Want to come back to my place?  
  
Yugi: Yami! I'm scared!  
  
Malik: *singing* No body likes me. Everybody hates me!  
  
*Goldfish cracker appears next to Malik.*  
  
Malik: AHHHHH! *falls off the merry-go round*  
  
Bakura: Ha! Ha! Stupid mortal!  
  
*Goldfish appears next to Bakura*  
  
Bakura: *AH! DEMON FISH! *leaps off of the merry-go round*  
  
*More and more Goldfish appear next to the characters. Each character in return, scream and jump off.*  
  
ALL: EVIL GOLDFISH!  
  
*Goldfish chases the characters with a domented smile singing in unison*   
  
Here's our jingle for YU-GI-OH!  
  
We wrote a song for YU-GI-OH!  
  
The anime that deals with dueling  
  
That is until the show is over  
  
Didja know they're made by Japanese  
  
And that they're an anime and not cartoonies  
  
The anime you'll love:  
  
YU-GI-OH!  
  
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*commercials end, Yu-Gi-Oh! returns on air*  
  
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Kanatasha: Okay, I admit not at good as the first. Any new ideas? And oh I know someone suggested the "Angry Gumball Commercial" But I kind of forgot about that one. If someone could remind me about that one, I'd be more then happy to create my own "Angry Gumball Commercial" Anyways, thanks for the reviews. Now give me some more Reviews! 


	3. 3

Kanatasha: I can't believe how much you people like these! Okay, I'm going to keep on continuing! I will try to use every idea that comes my way, but not all at once! Well enjoy!   
  
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT AND WILL NOT EVER OWE: YU-GI-OH!, NESTLE WONDER BALL, 7-UP, 1-800-C.A.L.L.A.T.T., MASTERCARD, or BLIND DATE COMMERCIALS!  
  
~Wonder Ball Commercial~  
  
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Oh I wonder, wonder, wonder.  
  
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm?  
  
Whats in my wonder ball!  
  
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Yugi: *shaking a wonder ball* Yami.  
  
Yami: *looks up from his reading* Yes aibou?  
  
Yugi: Do you know what's inside a wonder ball?  
  
Yami: Don't know. Don't care!  
  
Yugi: *pouts* Yami!   
  
Yami: *exasperating sigh* Okay Yugi. What's inside a wonder ball?   
  
Yugi: *shrugs* How should I know? That's why I asked you!   
  
Yami: .......................YUGI................................  
  
5 Minutes Later  
  
Yugi: Hey Yami.  
  
Yami: Yes?  
  
Yugi: *staring at a wonder ball, poking it with a stick* Why do you suppose they call it a wonder ball?   
  
Yami: Because aibou, it makes you wonder what's inside.   
  
Yugi: Oh......................Do you know what's inside a wonder ball?  
  
Yami: *sweatdrop* No Yugi I don't. I already told you that!  
  
Yugi: Oh.....Okay.   
  
5 Minutes Later  
  
Yugi: Why not call it a mystery ball or the ball of illusion?  
  
Yami: *becoming slightly aggitated.* Call what?  
  
Yugi: The wonder ball.  
  
Yami: Yugi! Will you please stop your fasination with the wonder ball! Look! *opens up a wonder ball* It's just a hollow chocolate ball with candy inside!   
  
Yugi: Oh........Then why didn't you say so?  
  
Yami: I just did.  
  
Yugi: Oh.............................  
  
5 Minutes Later  
  
Yugi: Yami, How do you suppose they fit the candy inside the wonder ball?  
  
Yami: @________________@  
  
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~7-UP Commercial~  
  
*7-UP guy walks up into the middle of a duel*  
  
7-UP Guy: Do you know what the problem with people today is? Their too buys dueling monsters to even think about the refreshing taste of 7-UP! But today I'm going to change that.  
  
Duelist One: *angrily* Hey! Get out of the way!   
  
Duelist Two: Yeah dude! Can't you see we're in the middle of a duel?  
  
7-UP Guy: That's nice kids. Ah, youth! *Looks down at the cards.* Oh no! No! NO! That monster is way too weak! *Takes Duelist Two's card.*  
  
Duelist Two: HEY! Give that back!  
  
7-UP Guy: *grinning like an idiot.* Oh don't worry! I have a monster that can defeat him over there! *gesters to Duelist One* WALA! *brings from behind his back, a 7-UP can dressed in a cheesy monster costume.* See!  
  
Duelist One: What the heck is that?  
  
7-UP Guy: Meet Can Man 7-UP! Can Man 7-UP! Give his monster the refreshing taste of lemon-lime! *knocks the can over, spilling the 7-UP all over the cards*  
  
Duelist One/Two: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *glare at 7-UP Guy*  
  
7-UP Guy: *nervous* Hehehehe! Well that's the breaks eh?  
  
Duelist Two: *pissed* GET HIM!  
  
Duelist One: *pissed* Rip him apart!  
  
*Duelist One/Two chase after 7-UP Guy*  
  
7-UP Guy: AHHHH! Everyone's a critic! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Mommy!  
  
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~1-800-C.A.L.L.A.T.T. Commercial~  
  
*Seto Kaiba stands alone near a phone booth, preparing to make a collect call. Just as he is about to punch in the numbers, Bakura quickly walks from behind the corner.*  
  
Bakura: Stop right there!  
  
Seto Kaiba: *annoyed* What do YOU want!  
  
Bakura: *grabs Kaiba's hand* Stupid mortal! Don't you know you can save who ever you are calling some cash by using 1-800-C.A.L.L.A.T.T.?  
  
Seto Kaiba: So? Why should I care? I'm rich!  
  
Bakura: True, but.....  
  
Seto Kaiba: *slaps Bakura's hand away* Now leave! I have important business to attend to! *Dials number collect*  
  
Bakura: Why you! *slightly pissed, blast the payphone* I SAID use 1-800-C.A.L.L.A.T.T.! It's FREE for you and CHEAP for them!  
  
Seto Kaiba: *shocked at first, quickly regains himself, takes out his cell phone.* Yes, I'd like to make a collect call to Joey Wheeler. And have the charges reversed! That stupid mutt can pay for his calls! *glares over at Bakura*  
  
Bakura: *throws his hands up in the air* Why did I even bother? *Leaves.*  
  
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~MasterCard Commercial~(yes, another one!)  
  
Hair Gel: $4.00  
  
Hair Spray: $7.00  
  
Hair Moouse: $12.00  
  
Three Color Hair Dye: $15.00  
  
Being able to fix your hair like your favorite YU-GI-OH! character: PRICELESS  
  
There are some things money can't buy. For everything else there's MasterCard.   
  
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~Blind Date Commercial~  
  
#2263950  
  
*Man appears wearing a knights suite.* Hello ladies! I am your knight in shining armor. Allow me to sweep you off your feet with my saranaed singing and my poetic poems. I am a ladies man and will do whatever you ask me to! I will be your love slave! *drops to knees begging* I am desperate here! Do you hear me! I'll take anyone! ANYONE! Please! I need a girlfriend! Help me! Please! *coughs* Oh, yeah. My name is Tristen Taylor. And I am the one for you! *takes of the helmet, smiling, blows a kiss*  
  
#33597059  
  
Hi! My name is Téa Gardner! I am a spunky cheerleader who believes in friendship! I like long walks on the beaches and holding hands. I adore puppies and anything cute and cuddly. Oh, and I'm a cuddly person myself. And.......*screams bloody murder as Yami comes on and stabs her to death. After killing her, he smiles satisfied* Now the world is a better place! A Blind Date Commercial? Soory, I'm taken! *Walks off.* Let's go koi! *Yugi looks up smiling, kisses Yami* Okay!   
  
#129877650  
  
*Marik comes on, glaring.* This is riddiculous! I can have whoever I want! I do not need to do these ridiculous commercials! I posses the Millenium Rod! *points rod at camera* All you beautiful, gorgeous sexy ladies and gentlemen I command you to become my sex slaves! *30 minutes past by before the room is crowded with hundreds and thousands of Marik worshipers* Ah! yes! YES! YEEEEEEEEEES! *insane laugh*   
  
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*commercial end, YU-GI-OH! returns on air.*  
  
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Kanatasha: Okay done with that! Please review and give more ideas! I'll try to use your ideas in later commercials! 


	4. 4

YU-GI-OH! COMMERCIALS 4  
  
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Kanatasha: Yes, I am at it again and as always I DO NOT OWN YU-GI-OH! SUBWAY! LUVS! MEOW-MIX! or PETCO!  
  
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~SUBWAY~  
  
*DING!*  
  
Subway Employee: *looks up, over the half-domed glass cage that protected the sandwich fixings.* "Welcome to Subway! Would you care to try one of our many delicious sandwiches?  
  
Marik: No, I want the power of the pharoah!  
  
SE: I'm sorry sir, but we don't have that here. Might I suggest a Cold Cut Trio or a Roasted Chicken Breast?  
  
Marik: No, you insolent bafoon! What I want is the power of the pharoah! Now hand it over or else!  
  
SE: I do appologize, but Subway does not carry that sort of thing. Here at Subway we have many different kinds of sandwiches, with at least six different types of bread, four types of cheese and fresh vegetables. In fact, seven of our Subway sandwiches only carry six grams of fat! Now with that in mind, what can I get for you today?  
  
Marik: *growls lowly, small twich* If you will not obey me willingly, perhaps my Millenium Rod will help to persuade you!   
  
*Flash Marik has taken over the mind of the Subway Employee*  
  
Marik: No, my worthless mind slave, I demand that you bring me the power of the pharoah.  
  
Mind-Slave Subway Employee: *in a trance* I can not master. Such a sandwich does not exist yet here at Subway.  
  
Marik: *about to pull his hair out* I WANT THE POWER OF THE PHARAOH! Yami's power should be MINE!!!!!!  
  
M-SSE: That is nice master, but until that day comes, how about trying one of Subway's delicious sandwiches, wraps or salads?  
  
Marik: *folds arms across chest, releases a gruff sigh, narrowing his eyes* Alright! *Looks at the menu for a few seconds* Six inch turkey on wheat. Chedder cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, jalopenos, oil and barbeque sauce!  
  
M-SSE: *smiles, putting on his protective gloves* Excellent choice! *makes the sandwich, happily humming* I hope you enjoy you Subway sandwich! *hands the sandwich to him*  
  
Marik: *snatches the sandwich, a small devious smile creeps upon his lips. Reaching into his robe, retrieves the Millenium Rod once again, points it at the Subway Employee.* Since you did not do as I had commanded, I shall place your pathetic soul in the Shadow Realm!  
  
*Sends Subway Employee to the Shadow Realm*  
  
Marik: *walks out of Subway*  
  
Malik: *MARIK!!!!*  
  
Marik: ^It's ok! I had Subway!!^  
  
Subway. Good, so you don't always have to be.  
  
Yugi: Since when is Marik good? *walks off, scratching his head confused.*  
  
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~LUVS~  
  
Announcer: Now Mr. Kaiba, sir you are our best canidate!  
  
Mokuba: NO! Get away from me! *slowly backs up*  
  
Announcer: Mr. Kaiba, your the only one who can play this part. *Advaces slowly, holding out a package*  
  
Mokuba: I am NOT wearing THAT! Make Yugi wear it! he's shorter then me!  
  
Announcer: Actually, your about the same size and you ARE younger.  
  
Mokuba: My brother will sue you if you make me wear that!  
  
Announcer: Your brother is paying us!  
  
Mokuba: *gasps* You lie!  
  
Announcer: *smirks* Sorry but no. Your brother told us to sell this product. He never said how to. Now, get into your costume unless you want Mr. Kaiba to loose a multi-million dollar deal.  
  
Mokuba: *growls deeply, snatches the costume, quickly walks off* "You had BETTER make this quick!  
  
Announcer: *trying not to laugh* O-o-o-k si-sir!  
  
*clears throat*  
  
Announcer: *deep, calm soothing voice* With it's powerful leak guard, you baby will feel fresher, longer!  
  
Mokuba: *yells offstage* I changed my mind! I'm nooooooot!  
  
*hand pushes him onstage*  
  
Mokuba: NOOOOOO! *wearing nothing but an over-size diaper and a pacifier hanging from his neck. Cheeks turn a bright red from embarrasment.* I'll get you for this!   
  
Announcer: *gwaffs* LUV your baby!  
  
Mokuba: *screams* BIG BROTHER!  
  
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~DUEL-MIX~ (MEOW-MIX)  
  
Kaiba: *Alone on his cruise liner, Seto Kaiba lets out a deep sigh as he stares up at the clouds.* "Finally a day with no work or no duels. Just relaxation and this time, NO ONE can find me! Not even my little brother!"   
  
*Boat gently rocks back and forth on the waves*  
  
Kaiba: *Leaning against the rails, the cell phone in his pocket begins to ring. Looking down, he growled lowly at the sound.* I told them all to leave me alone!" *Snatching the phone from his pocket, Kaiba gruffly answered* WHAT IS IT?!?!?  
  
*Mysterious Voice* Duel duel duel duel! Duel duel duel duel! Duel duel duel duel! Duel duel duel duel! Duel! Duel! DUEL!!!   
  
Kaiba: *growls* BAKURA!  
  
Bakura: *snickers, hangs up*  
  
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~PETCO~  
  
Scene: *Park with trees, benches and a sidewalk. There are many people standing around talking, some are walking, running or roller-bladding. A few are just sitting quietly. From over the hill, a voice cries out* "IT'S OPEN!" *Everyone rushes over the hill to the new store located at the bottom. Pushing and shoving each other to be the first one there. As everyone reaches the store, they gape out for standing in the display window is Jounouchi Katsuya wearing a dog costume. The song "How Much Is That Doggie In The Window" plays over the entercome. Above the window is the stores name and logo. PETCO. WHERE THE PETS GO! (Yes, even worthless mutts!) *Standing in front of the store, smiling with pride, is the store's owner, Seto Kaiba.  
  
Kaiba: Welcome! And enjoy but do keep away from the display dog, he hasn't had his shots yet!  
  
Jounouchi: *growls lowly, whimpering slightly.  
  
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Kanatasha: Okay, that's it for another round of YU-GI-OH! COMMERCIALS! I'll try use more of your suggestions next time. Until then, review or be wary of the potatoes!!!!! 


End file.
